If I may recommend...

I love when friends recommend a book or a song to me! So, while I'm here at LeBonheur, holding this sleepy little boy, I thought I might recommend a book and a song. (yes, I am blogging from my phone, with only one hand!)

Before I was admitted to the hospital, a dear friend, who knew our situation, gave me this book. She told me to have a box of tissue close by while I read it. Well, I was not in the best emotional state at the time, so I set in on our kitchen counter to read one day when things were better. Well, fast forward twelve weeks later. I am rocking Harper and I'm wanting to read another book to her so I grab the book my friend gave me. Sure enough, I could barely read the last few pages because I was crying so hard. Please, if you have never read "The Tale of Three Trees," run to your local library and check out this book. Better yet, just go buy it for your personal library. You will not be sorry! I regret not reading it sooner.




And now for a song...

I was driving this morning to get coffee and heard this song! It's beautiful. I have no idea how old this song is, but I wanted to share the lyrics. I'm a lyrics person! :)

Blessings by Laura Story

"We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?"


It's just a beautiful song!


I LOVE reading and singing to H&H! I would love to hear some of your children's book or song recommendations! :).


This is what little man is currently doing!

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iPhone pictures

Just a few pictures from the past few days:




I promise she was smiling right before I took this picture


This one is for Amanda and Abby! :)


Little Rebel


Henry and Harper both sleep the exact same way. Arms above their heads.


Blowing kisses


Fascinated with something


Hanging out with his Sissy


We've had a busy week so far! We take Harper back to LeBonheur for her vision screening on Friday! Praying everything is normal. Henry is still fighting hard. His CO2 level is still high, so his homecoming won't be as soon as we were hoping. Please just keep our little man in your prayers. As much as we want him home, we pray that he will come home in God's perfect timing. Praying for peace while we wait!

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Update on H and H

I realized tonight that I have updated the blog with pictures, but I haven't done a great job updating about the babies' progress. They are 10 weeks old today! It seems hard to believe!

Harper girl officially weighs 6 lbs 4 oz!!! She has tripled her birth weight! She's such a big girl now. I no longer feel like I'm going to break her when I'm holding her.

We had a little scare this past Saturday, but luckily our pediatrician was in town and was able to check her! Have I mentioned how much I love Dr. Fowler? Everything is fine now! She just has some tummy issues! She is just the cutest little thing and she's already a daddy's girl, too! Mark and I are just nuts about her. He and I still have moments where we look at each other and say, "WE'RE PARENTS!!"




Watching t.v. with daddy


Twins


Henry is officially 8 lbs!! This makes me so happy, and yet so sad. I feel like my baby is growing up in a hospital instead of his home. It's getting harder and harder to leave him. He's so much more alert these days, and he's even started cooing! He has the sweetest little face. I can already tell that he is going to be so kind and sweet spirited. We love him so much! This past week we said goodbye to his doctor, Doctor Ferguson. He is on a two week vacation. We are going to miss him so much! He was such a sweet doctor. Henry and I just loved him. Luckily, we will have Dr. Joi these next two weeks, and we adore her. She and her husband mean the world to our family! Her husband is the doctor who delivered Henry and Harper. Mark and I think it would be really special if she were the one to discharge Henry from LeBonheur. However, I'm not getting my hopes up of him coming home just yet. We were hoping to have him home by July 15th, but then he had such a bad reaction to the vaccinations that coming home was not a possibility. The hurdle we are facing now is that his CO2 levels are too high. They will not let him come home until they can get his blood gases lowered. To look at him, he looks like the picture of health, but his little lungs are so very weak. He might be bigger than Harper, but he is much more fragile. We continue to pray that his lungs will heal, and grow. We pray that they can BOTH stay infection free this next year.




Saying goodbye to Dr. Ferguson




Sweet Henry


His little shirt says it best! He is indeed "wonderfully made!"

Mark and I continue to be overwhelmed with love and prayer from our family and sweet friends. We love you and are so very grateful. We humbly ask that you please continue praying for our babies.

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Too cute

At least his mommy thinks he's too cute! Mark sent this picture this morning and it made my day!



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Good morning

On my way to see this baby girl! Grandmommy hasn't figured out that blue socks are for boys, but maybe this is a sign that mommy needs to pick up some more pink socks! :)


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Super Henry

Someone has had a much better week! Henry is doing a lot better! In fact, just this morning our doctor switched him from a high flow nasal cannula to a regular cannula with 100% oxygen instead of blended, and he's tolerating it well! Thank you for your prayers! Still praying he will improve enough to come home soon!


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Pictures

Pictures from this past week and weekend:

Henry in his crib.  He LOVES his mobile!

Henry hanging out with daddy!  Henry is a future Red Sox fan in the making!

Getting a bubble bath!  

Not so sure bubble baths are his thing.

Fast asleep after a long day of tests.

Sweet Harper

She loves to be swaddled.  

Whoever coined the phrase, "Sleeps like a baby" obviously never spent the night with Harper girl!  She loves to stay up ALL night long! :)

***DISCLAIMER:  

Everyone who knows me well, knows how much I love my furry child.  However, after Henry and Harper were born with their issues, I was completely willing to let him live with my parents.  I was heartbroken about it, but my babies (of the non furry kind) and their well being mean more to me than anything else.  However, Mark urged me to talk with our doctor before making such a drastic change in our family, and yes, I consider Grover part of our family!  So, I have spoken in depth with three neonatologists, two respiratory therapists, and one pulmonalogist (lung doctor) about whether or not it was safe to have Grover living in our home with Henry and Harper.  Every single one of them told me that it would be perfectly fine to let Grover stay with us, as long as he did not stay in the same room in which Henry and Harper slept.  They all said Henry and Harper weren't going to be contracting RSV or the stomach bug from a dog.  Therefore, the entire upstairs of our home is OFF LIMITS to Grover.  Mark has installed a gate at the top of our stairs where Grover can't get through.  The picture above is Grover meeting Harper for the very first time.  

Harper thought Grover was pretty funny!

Grover is not so sure about Harper.

My mom text me this picture of Henry today.  He is just so sweet!

Henry snuggling with his Sissy.

Life is Hard, but God is Good!

"Be joyful in HOPE, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer."  Romans 12:12

This past Wednesday Henry and Harper were 8 weeks old!  It's hard to believe that our Harper girl has been home for two weeks.  I realized yesterday that I had not updated the blog in a while.  Honestly, I have been a little scared of posting an update for fear of what I might say due to sleep deprivation.  Mark and I have been traveling back and forth trying to be with Harper at home, and with Henry in the NICU at LeBonheur.  Life is really hard right now.  It's a terrible feeling being apart from either one of our babies, but it's especially hard to be away from our sick baby.  Mark and I have joked that we are like two ships passing in the night.  He and I haven't really seen much of each other and that has been hard, too.  Don't get me wrong, I am so very thankful that Harper is home and thriving, but I just wish our little man could be home, too.  

Harper is just our little rock star!  She is doing awesome!  She now weighs 5 pounds 5 ounces as of this past Friday.  She wakes up about every two-three hours to be fed, and she loves to be held.  So much so that she basically cries anytime someone is not holding her.  She still loves for me to sing to her, and now she really likes to be read to.  Just today we've discovered that she LOVES her activity mat.  She actually grabs at the little owls that hang from it.  It's just too cute.  

Henry has had a very rough week.  When I got to LeBonheur Wednesday, his blood gases were steadily increasing.  This just means that the carbon dioxide in his blood was steadily increasing.  Also, his hematcrit was way too low.  He had to have a blood transfusion late that night.  It was awful having to watch them stick him so many times before getting his IV in.  Ugh, just thinking about it right now makes me cry.  He was just pitiful.  Thursday morning his blood gases were even worse.  At this point they moved him back to the critical area of the NICU and told me that they were probably going to have to put him back on the ventilator if he did not improve.  I immediately began to pray.  I had made a promise to Henry that I would do everything in my power not to ever have him back on that machine.  Luckily, his blood gas leveled off and they decided not to intubate him.  However, they did have to put his feeding tube back in.  They ran several tests to rule out any possibility of infection.  The doctors have decided that he was just reacting poorly to his vaccinations.  I met with his pulmonary doctor late Thursday afternoon.  He basically just confirmed what I've known for quite some time.  Henry is just a very weak little boy.  Although he came out of surgery remarkably well, he has a long road to go before he is completely healed.  His doctor said that if he reacted this poorly to shots, we can only imagine how he would react to a virus or an infection.  Today his blood gases were better.  However, I feel like this set back has just prolonged his stay in the NICU.    

I have had many people tell me how proud they are of me for being so strong during such a difficult time.  Man, when I hear that I sometimes feel like such a phony!  The truth is, this has been really hard.  Before Henry's surgery, I had days where I couldn't even get out of bed.  Days where food had no taste.  Days where I would avoid friends and even my own family.  I have had moments where I'm just mad at the world and I question "why!"  I realize that these emotions are normal, but I wanted to just say that I have experienced every one of them.  I have had moments where I was just sure Mark was going to have me committed.  The only thing that has gotten me through those dark hours was God's grace and love.  I have clung to His promise that He is in control, and He works for the good of those who love Him.  All I have to do is take one look at Henry and Harper and I am just overcome with thanksgiving.  I am reminded that He chose Mark and me to be their parents.  Even though this situation that we are in was not MY plan, I am so blessed to be their mom, and I know that His plans are so much greater than my own.    I look around the NICU and see other families struggling with problems even worse than what we were dealt.  I am blown away by their courage and faith in Jesus.  God has really worked in my heart these past few months.  I have realized that there is NOTHING good in me apart from Jesus.  Life is hard, but God is good!    

Mark and I humbly ask that you continue to pray for our babies.  We are so grateful for the love and support that has been shown to us.  

Some pictures from this past week:

Visiting our sweet pediatrician, Dr. Fowler.  We love her so much!  We feel so blessed to have her in Corinth.  She did her residency at LeBonheur, and all the doctors and nurses have told us how much they love and miss her.  I may have to fight them if they ever try to take her away!

Rocking Harper girl

I recently celebrated my 29th birthday.  Mark gave me this necklace.  It might be one of my most favorite gifts ever.  (Thanks, Jen! ;)

The little diva taking a nap

Sweet Henry

Henry

Saying bye to my baby boy this morning! He's had a rough couple of days! I'll post a more detailed update on the twins tonight with more pictures. Please keep them in your prayers, especially sweet Henry!


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